


Foolish

by babel



Category: Blake's 7
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-23
Updated: 2011-01-23
Packaged: 2017-10-15 00:54:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/155327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babel/pseuds/babel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Avon and Vila discuss what to do about Tarrant after City on the Edge of Forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Foolish

It had been a long day. Vila had traipsed around a few miles of planet, gone head-to-head with a long dead genius locksmith, fallen in love... Well, sort of. Not really. Kerril was more a mirror than anything else; they both wanted the same impossible thing for people like them; a normal, quiet, typical life. He hoped she'd get one somehow.

All of that had exhausted him, but he couldn't sleep, because one more thing had happened to him today: He'd been scared out of his wits.

He could hear the jokes in his head. Cally would ask him how that was out of the ordinary. Dayna would laugh and say in that case, he must never get much sleep. Avon might only give him a look, or he might mutter something about how he never had wits to begin with. Tarrant would...

Vila shuddered and pushed himself up. He was sick of lying in bed, not sleeping. If he was going to not sleep, he could do it with a little scenery. Maybe Dayna was still on the flight deck. Or Cally.

Or Tarrant.

No, not the flight deck. He had a better idea. He hurried out of his quarters and into the corridor, combing his hair with his fingers. If he came across Tarrant, he could just hurry past him. Maybe he wouldn't even notice. Just a pathetic little Delta grade like Vila. No, he wouldn't notice Vila again until the next time they needed something from him.

If he just kept telling himself that, maybe he could get through this.

He pushed the button for the rest room door to open, and he stopped dead in his tracks. Someone was in there, and in the low light he was sure it was Tarrant. The idea of killing him had been appealing when he thought he'd never see him again, but now he was sure Tarrant would kill him first, or the others would be angry at him for it and send him out an airlock.

The Tarrant-shadow looked up, and the light from the corridor highlighted his face.

"You're not Tarrant," Vila whispered.

Avon's brows knit together. "I suppose I could take that as a compliment."

Vila let out the breath he'd been holding and leaned against the doorway. "For a minute, I thought... Why are you sitting around in the dark?"

"Perhaps I was attempting to sleep."

"Yeah, but in the rest room?" Vila found the light panel and pushed it on.

Avon narrowed his eyes slightly. He was trying to make it seem natural rather than a reaction to the change in lighting. It made his smile strange. Well, stranger than usual. "Why not?"

"Don't know. Don't care, really." Vila edged into the rest room so the door could close behind him. Maybe he should lock it so Tarrant couldn't get in... but he didn't want Avon to make fun of him for it. He'd had about his fill of being made fun of for one lifetime. He was a legend now, wasn't he? He'd saved the people of Kezarn and killed the second most wanted criminal. Now he was up there with the rest of them. Higher, maybe.

Avon was leaning back on his chair's head rest with his eyes closed, but Vila could tell he wasn't even attempting sleep. He sat down in the chair next to Avon. "I heard what you said, you know."

Avon lifted one eyelid.

"You said I was impressive."

"Ah." Avon closed his eye again. "Actually, I said I was impressed."

"Isn't that the same thing?"

"Not exactly."

Vila rolled his eyes. "Have it your way, Avon, but you and I both know we wouldn't 've got anything today if it weren't for me. Wouldn't 've gotten anywhere lots of times without me. What's _he_ good for except bullying people."

Avon drew a slow breath before suddenly sitting up and turning to face Vila. "Tell me, Vila, and be very sure of your answer; Do you want us to leave him?"

Vila blinked, fairly unsettled to have Avon suddenly staring at him with one of his more vicious glares. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean," Avon said through his teeth. "Find a planet where he'd be relatively safe and leave him."

"We'd have to find another pilot..."

Avon shook his head. "We'll find another one. What concerns me is that you took a stupid risk today, Vila. Stupid even by your standards."

"It wasn't my fault! Tarrant said--"

"I don't care what Tarrant said. _I_ gave you that tracer. _I_ did."

Vila got to his feet, pacing to avoid those eyes. "Look, I didn't do it to hurt your feelings. In fact, I didn't even know you had any."

"Oh, I don't," Avon snarled. "But we always got by on being mutually useful. You aren't useful to me if you don't trust me."

Vila stopped his pacing and looked at Avon. Avon was looking back in that fierce way he did sometimes, where you could tell it was just a cover for something he didn't want anyone to see. Vila smiled. "It's that, is it?"

Avon was getting impatient. "Answer my question. Do you want us to leave him?"

"No. Now, answer mine." Vila moved in to sit with Avon again. When they were both sideways in their chairs, their knees were almost touching. "You always complained how we trusted Blake, how we did everything he said. It's because you wanted people to treat you that way, isn't it? You want me to treat you that way."

Avon sneered, but he broke eye-contact with Vila, which was more of an answer than anything he could've said. "You're a fool."

"And you say that when you don't have an answer for me. At least not one you want to give."

"All right." Avon looked back at Vila, retaining that defensive anger. "Let me ask another question then; Why did you come here? No, don't answer, I will. You've been afraid every day of your life, but since you've been on the liberator, you've always been afraid of things _out there_. Today, you were afraid _in here_. You can't sleep in your quarters tonight, because you've been fooling yourself that this is your home, that you're relatively safe here when no one's shooting at us. But you're not, and you never have been."

Any smugness Vila may have had was drained now. It had been a comfort, sniping back and forth like the good old days, but the war had changed that, hadn't it? Something had come unhinged. Maybe it had been coming unhinged since Gan died, and it's just that they were noticing it now.

Avon scoffed and straightened his back. "Don't worry. You'll convince yourself again soon enough."

"I don't know about that," Vila muttered.

"You're sure we shouldn't leave him?" Avon asked. His voice was softer now. Gentler. "Because I'm not."

Vila shook his head slowly. "Don't tell anyone, but... the guilt'd get to me. Leaving him somewhere might as well be a death sentence. We'd be kinder to shoot him." He paused. "I won't say I didn't consider that."

Avon narrowed his eyes, but then he cracked a smile. "So have I."

"All bark, us two." Vila sighed and lowered himself down on his side in the chair, pulling his legs up so he could hug his knees. "Look, I know he was bluffing. I know that now. Just, at the time..." He squeezed his eyes closed, trying to forget it was Avon he was opening up to. "I used to not be afraid of anyone, you know? When I was a kid, I had one smart mouth on me. I'd talk back to anyone. Only sometimes those bullies... they weren't just bluffing. Sometimes it was even someone you'd thought was a good friend, then one day he's standing there while the others hold you down. They're hurting you, and they tell him to join in. You think never in a thousand years. You're mates, right? He might not risk his own neck for you, but he wouldn't hurt you."

Avon was quiet. He was quiet for so long that Vila opened his eyes to be sure he was still there. He was sitting very still, staring forward. Vila could see some past event playing before his eyes, just as much as Vila's past was before his own.

"Tarrant was holding me down, and no one was stopping him. I thought maybe one of you might join in."

Avon's gaze shifted down to Vila. There wasn't any anger there. There wasn't anything Vila could recognize at all. His lips parted slightly, like he wanted to say something, but he didn't. Finally, he looked away. "If you'd taken the tracer, you wouldn't have been in any danger to begin with. I would've been able to beam you up before you'd ever come across Bayban."

"I know that, Avon." Vila rolled onto his back, even more exhausted than before. "It's just you aren't all that cuddly sometimes, you know? Would've rather I got fried than lose four million credits and a chance at six million more back at Freedom City. Volunteered me to walk out in that black hole thing. Plus a hundred other times you wouldn't mind me getting blown to bits. How could I be sure that you'd not think those crystals were more important than old Vila, eh? How could I be sure you weren't finished with me?"

"Because I'm not," Avon said, as if it were simple.

Vila lolled his head to the side so he could look at Avon. "Yeah, but what I asked was how would I _know_ that? You don't let on to much of anything."

Avon arched an eyebrow. "Perhaps it would be best to assume I won't be finished with you. You're useful, as I said."

"You could find another thief."

"A thief so foolish that he doesn't steal from me? So foolish he risks his life on a fairly regular basis for no monetary reward? So foolish he doesn't abandon someone who threatened to abandon him simply because he'd feel guilty if the man died?" Avon grimaced, as if it pained him to admit it. "No... I'm afraid I couldn't."

Vila grinned and looked back up at the ceiling. "This has to be a new galactic record for compliments given by any Kerr Avons."

"Foolish enough to consider those _compliments_." Avon turned and laid back on his chair in one crisp movement.

Vila's eyes were drifting closed. He was too tired now to fight it. "Avon," he murmured.

"Hm?"

"I came here to sneak some soma. Cally thinks she's hidden it from me, but she's not dealing with an amateur." Vila yawned. "Thought it might help me sleep."

"Ah." Avon paused. "I simply needed a change of atmosphere. My quarters are a bit... confining."

"If you say so, Avon." Vila smiled, wondering vaguely at what little scheme had actually brought Avon here. Something harmless, maybe even outright helpful, if his past schemes were any indication.

It didn't matter now. Avon was still the same old Avon, and Cally was somewhere on the ship being the same old Cally. For a moment, even if it was a short one, that was enough to let Vila drift to sleep.


End file.
